in the mood for reflection

November 13, 2006 at 9:43 am Leave a comment

and so a semester has flown by just like that.

i remember how after working non-stop since last nov, i was glad to take a breather and return to school.

but somehow, it felt a bit weird being back in school. felt a bit out of place, didn’t know who to talk to, or who to say what to.

but that problem was somewhat easily solved, as most of my time afterward was turned towards the finalyearthingamajig, so i talked to my groupmates.

then there was the nationalday lunch thingy with the ex-colleagues, which i had initially looked very much forward to.

but i felt out of place there too that day, because they were all still working, while i was different.

i was a student while they were all media professionals and i could no longer claim to be one of them.

that was a thoroughly weird period for me.

and then two weeks or so into school, i quickly got bored with school and was raring to go in the workfront again.

was approached by the ex-boss with a job offer, which i initially accepted spuriously, but has now ended up in nothingness on one hand, and promises of the future on the other hand.

then, just last week, in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of schoolwork and impending examinations, i actually went to work.

just for one precious day, i went back to work.

it was fun, and brought back many memories, but yet, i still felt strangely out of place.

and so i came and went, just like how the day came and went.

nothing especially eventful, in my opinion, but may have potentially sparked off my recent conversations with the ex-boss.

and so the exams.

i’m feeling a tad unsettled, and it’s gotten quite hard for me to sit down properly and study seriously, even though there’s only two examinable subjects this semester whyohwhy.

i have come to the (sad) realization that it is probably due to the million other thoughts running through my head.

strange as it may sound, i dream of media law, but when im awake and at my desk, my thoughts run amok of television programs (superstar II, csi supreme sunday, tvb dramas, taiwan varieties…), thefinalyearthingamajig and work.

recently work has resurfaced again in my thoughts and it has made me thoroughly confused and troubled.

i remember vividly, how, in august, i had sworn off work, and contemplated changing industries even.

but now, as the holidays are drawing near, and graduation seems to be almost within my grasp, my thoughts have turned to the elusive future.

i have been receiving smses and phone calls with job opportunities which were tempting, but unfortunately, none that i could take up so far because of finalyear commitments.

but come january, things may be different altogether.

then may come a time when i have to make serious decisions and choices. and i can only hope for the wisdom, courage, and foresight to choose the right path to take.

the unforeseeable future is troubling. but then again, how exciting is a future if it is predictable.


Entry filed under: dailies.

QUiETUS Films Auditions for A Suicide Symphony work.

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